If a car hadn’t happened to come by it is likely that the body would never had been found. On a lonely stretch of highway about 5 miles outside of Materia, California a body was found. He was approximately 30 years old. It looked like he had been dead for only a few hours. If it had been any longer the coyotes would have been feeding on the body. Junior Investigator Ken Hawkins of the Cause of Death Division of the Materia Bureau of Investigation hated the night shift. Most “deaths of unknown cause” occurred during the night. The KBI had conducted numerous studies to determine the reason for this discrepancy. These studies had yielded many theories but no conclusive results. The investigators on the day shift often make fun of the night shift investigators because they have to work much harder. Ken’s investigations always started with one question to answer: Was it “naturally random” or was it “accidentally random”? “Well, it clearly wasn’t naturally random,” he said to himself. Ken could see a knife sticking out of the man’s back. About that time Senior Investigator Richard Filler drove up.
“It’s an accidentally random death,” Ken said to Richard as he walked up.
“Great.” Richard said somberly. Naturally random deaths, such as a heart attack or cancer, required very little paperwork and most of that was done by the Medical Examiner. Accidentally random deaths, however, required much more paperwork. As investigators they are required to construct stories to explain all accidentally random deaths. Ken was a rookie in the bureau and was not very good at writing accidentally random death stories.
“Well, we might as well get started,” Richard said as he bent over the body. Ken pulled out a pad and pen and started writing as Richard spoke. “The knife is embedded about 3 inches between the 5th and 6th ribs.”
“Do you think falling on a knife would cause it to embed that far?” Ken questioned.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself.” Ken added. “Let’s collect the data before we construct stories.”
“Okay, okay.” Ken said sullenly.
Richard once again bent over the body. “He has a nasty gash on the back of his head. Let’s see if we can figure out who this is.” He rolls the body on its side in order to look in the back pocket. As he does he observes a wallet on the ground under the body. He opens it and looks inside.
“His driver’s license says Rea Son. He has a Materia address.” Richard showed the address to Ken.
“That’s on the other side of town.” Ken observed as he writes the address in his pad.
Richard continued to look through the wallet. “This guy was broke. No money in his wallet. And no credit cards either.”
“Why was he way out here without money or credit cards?” Ken asked.
“I have no idea.”
“How did this guy get out here? There is no car and no keys in his pocket. Maybe he was walking from Materia to Intentio.” Ken motions toward the town of Intentio. Rich gives him a disapproving look. “I know. I know. First the data and then the stories.”
“Let’s widen the data collection area,” Richard suggested. Ken walked along the side of road toward Materia while Richard walked toward Intentio. Both looked down as they walked. A few minutes later they met back at the body.
“What did you see?” Richard asked.
“There are a set of fresh footprints on the side of road which show someone walking from the direction of Materia. They end here at the body.”
“They must be the Mr. Son’s,” Richard concluded.
“No. The footprints are much larger, maybe a size eleven. Mr. Son’s shoe size can’t be more than a nine.” Ken said triumphantly.
“Interesting. It’s like Mr. Son vanished out of thin air.”
“In addition, there are tire tracks indicating a car stopped right here.” Ken indicated an area about 10 feet from the body. “What did you find in the other direction?”
“There are a set of tracks going away from this area. And by the looks of the rubber left on the road the car left in a hurry.”
Ken thought about this for a moment and added “By the way, I talked to the driver who called this in. On his way out of Materia traveling to Intentio he saw a guy hitchhiking. He thought it was close to this area. He noticed the body on his way back to Materia.”
“Okay rookie, do we have everything we need?” Richard asked.
Ken looked around at the scene. “I think so.”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Richard went straight for the coffee machine. His consumption of coffee doubled when he started working nights. He also was twice as cranky, he thought.
“Can you grab me a bottled water?” Ken called from across the room. Richard decided long ago that he couldn’t trust an investigator that drank bottled water. The water from the tap was perfectly good, wasn’t it? He probably didn’t eat doughnuts either.
“Sure.” Richard said dourly. On his way back to his desk Richard grabbed a doughnut from another investigator’s desk.
“Hey, that’s mine!” Someone called from across the room.
“Don’t be selfish, Gene!” Richard called back.
Richard winked at Ken as he handed him his bottled water and took a bite of the doughnut. “Okay, so where are we?” Ken was already pouring over their notes. “The Medical Examiner did not find any evidence that Mr. Rea Son died naturally random. Thus, he must have died randomly by accident. He was found on the side of the road with a knife in his back. His wallet was found next to him with no money or credit cards. There were tire tracks coming to the site of the death and leaving the site. No keys were found on him. There was a hitchhiker observed prior to the incident but was not observed after the incident.”
Richard mulled over this information. There were many stories that could explain these data. The challenge was determining the right story, what must have happened. Since no one observed the death they must make conclusions based on the data. Sometimes he wondered why they worked so hard to determine the cause of an accidentally random death such as this. It was important to prove that it was just random, wasn’t it? There wasn’t a lot that could be done about naturally random deaths, but maybe accidentally random deaths could be prevented. Some idiots doubt that some deaths were not random. The CDD performs an important service to society by showing random deaths are indeed random. By determining the right story Richard and Ken will prove the death was random and thus also prove that all deaths are random. “Okay, have you come up with a story to fit the data? And don’t give me a long story. Your stories are just so…just so…excessive.”
“How about this one.” Ken opened his laptop and typed on the keyboard. An investigator with a laptop, Richard scoffed. Ken reads from his laptop. “Mr. Son was interested in getting some exercise and walked from his house to the location we found him. By chance he found a knife on the side of the road. Mr. Son thought the knife was desirable and that he would benefit from having it. While he was inspecting the knife he tripped and dropped it. He and the knife fell to the ground and by chance the knife stuck in his back and he died of internal bleeding.” Ken looked up from the laptop and waited for the grilling he knew was coming. The questions came quickly.
“What makes you think he walked?”
“He had tennis shoes on.”
“What makes you think he found the knife?”
“Why would someone carry a knife on a walk?”
“Why did he trip?”
“There was a rock observed at the scene.”
“How do you know he was inspecting the knife?”
“What else would he do if he found a knife on the side of the road?”
“How do you know the knife stuck in his back as he fell?”
“I originally thought that it happened while he was using the knife to scratch his back, but scratching would have been done at an angle. The knife wound was mostly straight in.”
Richard paused. The rookie was getting better. “What about the car tracks?”
“A driver may have seen it happen and pulled off the road, but then decided he didn’t want to get involved and drove off.”
“Why was his wallet out of his pocket?”
“It fell out.”
“Why did he not have credit cards in his wallet?”
“Maybe he was a Dave Ramsey disciple…or he left them at home.” Ken smiled with pride. He was sure that he was finally going to get one of his stories published.
While Richard was thinking of another question to ask, a voice from a desk nearby said, “You have got to be kidding.”
Richard and Ken looked over to see two of their fellow investigators, Mike Gonzales and Bill Dooley.
“Don’t start!” Richard scoffed at them.
Bill did not heed Richard’s warning. “The death of Rea Son is obviously not random. And it clearly not an accident. I can’t believe that you don’t see what the evidence shows. Clearly, Mr. Son was driving out of Materia when he saw a hitchhiker. He pulls off the road to offer the man a ride. The hitchhiker hits Mr. Son on the back of the head and stabs him in the back. The man then takes the victims money, credit cards, and keys. He steals his car and leaves Mr. Son dead on the side of the road.”
“He is not a victim. And that story is not possible.” Ken retorted loudly.
“Why? Because of Ordinance 1859? It explains some deaths but it cannot explain all deaths…like Mr. Son’s death.” Mike continued. “Have you asked the victim’s wife whether her husband left the house by car or on foot? Surely you can calculate that it would have taken several hours for the victim to walk from his house on the other side of town. Have you checked to see if credit cards in Mr. Son’s name have been used in the last few hours? The evidence just doesn’t support an accidentally random death explanation.” When Mike said “accidentally random” he said it mockingly.
“But Ordinance 1859…..”
“Ordinance 1859 is a joke.” Bill cut Ken off.
Several years ago California passed Ordinance 1859 entitled Limiting Cause of Death Explanations. Ordinance 1859 limited official explanations for the cause of death to either “naturally random” or “accidentally random” and prohibited murder or any other purposeful causes as an explanation for death. The law affirmed the goodness in all men and was based on a belief that men and women were not capable of causing purposeful death on another human being. Ordinance 1859 became very popular among government and law enforcement agencies and it soon became law in all 50 states. It had a significant effect on the way law enforcement was organized and conducted its work. For example, homicide divisions became cause of death divisions and detectives became investigators. While Ordinance 1859 was very popular among investigators it was not well accepted by the general public. As such, the CDD was inundated with claims of murders that were witnessed by the public. Government officials believed that these “witnessings” were superstitious and there became a great distrust of the government for the public and of the public for the government. The situation got so bad that state governments passed Ordinance 17315 which required education curriculum developers to remove any mention of purposeful death from primary, secondary, and post-secondary education. This required significant alteration of history curriculums so that there was no mention of war. Government officials believed that through education the public would be won over, however, surveys have repeatedly indicated that Ordinance 17315 has had no effect on public acceptance of Ordinance 1859. While the public rejected Ordinance 1859 surveys have indicated that a majority of investigators are supporters of Ordinance 1859. However, it is rumored that many investigators don’t think the ordinance is right but are afraid to speak up for fear of losing their jobs.
“No, you’re both idiots. I can’t believe you call yourselves investigators.” Richard called after Bill and Mike as they walked away. Richard and Ken are supporters of Ordinance 1859 but have slightly different perspectives. Richard is a “true believer.” He firmly believes in the goodness of man and is fully convinced that all deaths are random. As a result he has little patience for doubters such as Mike and Bill. Ken has taken a slightly different position. He is not sure about the goodness of man but he fully stands behind Ordinance 1859 and believes it is the only way to investigate deaths. The CDD has tried to fire Bill and Mike several times but their seniority has protected them. But as a result of their superstitious beliefs they are only assigned naturally random deaths to investigate and are never given an accidentally random death. Only accidentally random deaths require the publication of a story and they are not allowed to publish stories since their stories would not be consistent with Ordinance 1859. Often Mike and Bill will express their opinion on accidentally random deaths as they did tonight. This usually resulted in name-calling and personal attacks from Richard, Ken, and others.
“Let’s get back to work.” Ken said.
Richard’s face had been a bright red but slowly changed back to its normal color as his anger subsided. “I can’t believe those guys. They must have been abused by their parents.”
Ken started laughing out loud even though it was clear that Richard was being serious. “So, what do you think of my story?”
“I know you would like to publish this story but it just doesn’t add up. Rea Son could not have walked from his house to the place of his death in the time allotted.” Richard said confidently as if he was the one who thought of it. “Rea Son left his house in his car and was traveling from Materia to Intentio when he saw one of his friends walking along the side of the road. This was the hitchhiker the witness saw. Mr. Son pulled off the road and began speaking to his friend. His friend explained that he had fallen on hard times and had to start walking to the factory where he works outside of town. Mr. Son felt sorry for him and gave him his car.”
“What about the wallet?” Ken asked inquisitively.
“Remember, he was on hard times. He gave his friend money to help him out.”
“And the credit cards?”
“I think you were right about Mr. Son being a Ramsey disciple.” Ken beamed at this admission.
Richard continued. “Mr. Son’s friend drove off and as Mr. Son started to put his wallet back in his pocket he dropped it on the ground. As he was bending over to pick it up,” Richard bent over to illustrate, “a knife fell out of the sky and penetrated Mr. Son between his fifth and six rib.”
“What!?” Ken exclaimed.
“You see, my little Padawan, I checked the flight pattern of airlines at the time of death. There was a passenger airline passing overhead precisely at that time. In addition, I checked the FAA statistics which state that objects fall from airliners in flight on an average of three times per year.”
“Wow. That’s a lot.”
“I also calculated the velocity an object would attain if it fell from an airliner. This velocity is sufficient to cause the extent of penetration we observed at the death scene. Thus, this shows conclusively that a knife fell from an airliner passing overhead and killed Mr. Son. This story explains the tire tracks, the wallet, the knife, and the hitchhiker.” Richard leaned back in his chair, a look of self-congratulations on his face.
“Should we try to find Mr. Son’s friend?” Ken asked.
“Why? It will only confirm what we already know.” Richard said smugly.
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